24 May 2012

The Big Question: Why?

I kept my mind at home today so that it would not be deprived of companionship considering that the majority of my "friends" are either taking an AP Calc exam or are not coming to school because their friends are taking the exam. In the time that I've been conscious in the confines of my bed, I've come up with a very ponderous matter.

Why am I your friend?/ Why are you my friend?
It comes down to me and you. You, as my "friend," and myself, as your "friend."

What does it mean to be someone's friend and what compels two people to begin a friendship?

"Best Friends"
Society tells us that our "best friend" has to be our counterpart. Someone who's reliable, shares the same interests, is kind and easy to relate to, and considers yourself their "best friend" as well.

First, we come to the parallel conundrum. You consider someone your "best friend," but to them, you're [perhaps] 4th on their list. What now? Would you consider someone your "best friend" if they felt that way about you?

Second, what constitutes the eligibility for someone to be your "best friend?" Why is your "best friend" your "best friend?" Why not your second best friend, or third? Let's observe this from my point of view. My "best friend" is kind, she can tolerate me, ...and yeah, that's it. Is she there when I need someone to talk to? No, not all the time. Do we do everything together? Nope, not at all. Do we even share the same interests? A little bit. Just a little bit. Does she consider me her "best friend?" Maybe. So here's the big question: Why is she my "best friend?" I think its because I see her all the time. Everyday, in fact. We get the chance to talk every day, we bounce our thoughts off each other every day, and we get to maintain a regular relationship with each other that isn't interrupted by other people. However, sometimes it feels like she lives in her own little world, and I'm just a visitor. We're not committed to each other, we don't include each other in everything we each do, and we definitely can't read each other's minds. She's open-minded, kind, enthusiastic when she wants to be, but she can also be critical and absent. So here you are, wondering why she's my best friend and possibly preparing your resume in hopes to apply for the position [hold for laughter]. And you know what? I'm wondering the same thing.

The First Chapter
Every friendship begins with meeting each other. How did you meet that person, and what drew you to them? Was it their never-ending charisma, a conversation that left you on  the floor laughing, their intoxicating beauty, or a smile that you just couldn't turn down?

I made most of my friends via a mutual friend. We were placed in a situation with each other, and from the heavens, we hit it off. If I were to recount the number of friendships in which I've acted as the mutual friend, the number would probably only fit on one hand. But aside from that, I probably don't share any particular interests with these friends, we didn't have a compelling force toward each other that led to our friendship, and it seems like we're just stuck in the same boat. Exchange pleasantries, converse about the weather, then say adieu when you get bored. Or maybe that's just me.

I'm probably overthinking this all which will probably lead to my ultimate demise when I demote all my "friends" to just acquaintances because our friendship just doesn't make any sense. What if I completely stopped communicating to people for a day? Or better yet, a week. People who actually cared about this wonderful human being would be concerned, right? I would give it a go if only I could actually keep it up. Trust me, it's really, incredibly hard.


P.S. I considered personally calling all my friends and asking them why I was their friend. I thought about it, and thought, and thought. But I didn't go through. Part of me was too chicken to hear what they have to say, and what if they actually don't like me at all? Maybe I should just be the naive lamb who just goes with the flow despite the herd of sheep behind me taking turns glaring at me and/or plotting to have me killed.

P.P.S. I will no longer be sharing my posts on Facebook or Google+. I won't compel you to read this blog any longer because I can't obsess over pageviews any more. That is all.

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