FRESHMAN 5000!

Ya know the infamous 'Freshman 15' that college kids tend to gain? WELL NOT FOR ME! I think I have an irrational and unhealthy fear of gaining weight. Is that weird? And whenever the numbers on my triple beam scale (kidding) go up, I just pray that it magically goes down. Then I go eat some Tastykakes.

triple beam scale, yeah!

BUT despite the family-style meals and endless servings of ice cream and brownies and late night M&Cs and Coke galooore, I will be untouched by the dastardly 15! How? By cutting off my limbs every time I have to weight myself, that's how (KIDDING).

On a more serious note, I have recently just remembered that I don't weigh enough to donate blood b/c I'm so goddamn short. If I do recall correctly, I believe that the minimum weight requirement for a person my height (leprechaunish) is 110 lb. And to indulge you all, I will divulge that as of my last doctor's visit, I measured 103 which just scares me. I like to think I'm 100. :)

... jk I just weighed myself and I'm 104 now

sad life

THUS, I vow to take fat-busting spin classes and other fat-busting activities to make sure that I remain physically incapable of donating blood by measure of weight. But if I do, the Blood Bank can have all the blood they need...les (<- GET IT? Need...les ...! b/c you're donating blood! I crack myself up)

Damn. 6 pounds. Brb while I go chop off my hair. How much do I weigh now? 

J